Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
