hell yes lets make some ravioli
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
