So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
