My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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