Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
