I hate all girls vehemently.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize