Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Two words: blizzard sex
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
