I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
