We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I didn't shave. On purpose
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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