I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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