So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
