happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So much rum. So many feels.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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