You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
