He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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