worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
