One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
