Christians are straight up FREAKS
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
