last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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