All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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