Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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