I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
