Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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