We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
