We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize