Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
