Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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