I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
it glows. i had to have it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Randomize
