My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
