Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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