where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
