What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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