why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
