so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
