4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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