it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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