Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
