She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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