perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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