i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's rum buckets o'clock
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
