lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dick very happy bro
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
