All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize