it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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