My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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