"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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