she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
