We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
