I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
