i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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