i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize