You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
