1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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