he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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