Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
