As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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