She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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