i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
