First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
porn star boner night. come get it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
