I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Someone signed my nipple.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
