Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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