you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
