either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We are two peas in an std pod
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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