She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
17 year olds will be the death of me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
