Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
