hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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