Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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