After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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