Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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