thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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