My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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