its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
