And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize