you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Where is the hickey?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
