I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
