I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
