Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize