i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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