Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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