I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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